Justin C Watches WCW Slamboree 2000

Ok. I have to admit something. The first few weeks of this New Blood vs Millionaires Club feud hasn’t exactly been terrible. The problem with it all was how it got set up. If they take away the Nitro Reboot and just started doing what they did the next couple weeks I think it would’ve been good. Of course there is also way too much Vince Russo involved all of this as well. Take away those two things and you might have something good.

But then David Arquette showed up and things started to go downhill.

Arquette won the WCW Title on an episode of Thunder. I’ve always said how he won it was fine, but it should have never happened in the first place. It made WCW more of a joke then it already became. Then he went and pinned Tank Abbott on Nitro (with the help of DDP). Now if you followed me during this I’ve become a bit of a Tank Abbott mark so I really hated that. Arquette knew he should have never won the WCW Title, so I never fault him for any of this.

We start with a clip from Thunder, where there was a Millionaires Club vs New Blood battle royal with the winner getting a Title shot at the Great American Bash. The clip they show shows everyone just standing there, barely fighting. This was also when Randy Savage made a random appearance to help the Millionaires Club. Ric Flair won. We then see the Millionaires Club arriving together on a bus.

WCW Cruiserweight Championship: Chris Candido (c) w/Tammy vs The Artist w/Paisley

Tammy takes off her robe to start but Candido blocks her from the crowd. Even at this point, Tammy started to go downhill. They fight on the outside. The Artist catches Candido coming off the top with an awkward spear. It looked more like he stopped Candido in the air with a hug. You can hear the vacuum in the background sucking up the confetti from the Artist’s entrance. It must also be sucking the life out of the crowd. The Artist blocks a frankensteiner then goes to jump over Candido and roll into a schoolboy pin attempt but whiffs on it and the crowd lets him know it.

Tammy gets on the apron to fake an injury. Paisley confronts her then pulls her down by the hair. Tammy then hits The Artist with a chair in the head. Candido goes for the pin. The Artist gets his shoulder up but the bell rings and Candido’s music plays. The ref says no three. Candido then hits a piledriver and headbutt off the top and this time the three counts. Someone fucked up somewhere.

After the match Russo gets his boner in the back as The Artist and Paisley pull off Tammy’s dress.

WCW Hardcore Championship: Terry Funk (c) vs Norman Smiley

Funk looks for Smiley again in the bathroom. You can find WCW’s company prospects in there as well. It is Smiley’s mystery partner though and Smiley attacks him from behind with a fire extinguisher. Smiley hits Funk with a chair. Mean Gene’s interview set gets knocked down and he freaks out. Norman’s mystery partner throws shit at Funk. Norman gets kicked off a ladder through a table. They are literally just throwing shit and not selling. Meanwhile the mystery partner just stands around and does nothing and that is all the announcers can talk about.

They get out to the ramp and Scott Hudson says “This will be sure to get a pop in the building.” Shut Up Hudson. Funk finally takes off the mystery partner’s mask and it is Ralphus, Chris Jericho’s old bodyguard. Funk pulls down his pants to show Ralphus’s ass. Norman comes back and throws a ladder at Funk, then drops the ladder on him from the ropes. Norman blasts Funk with a few chair shots. He does the Big Wiggle, then Ralphus does it. Funk hits Ralphus with a chair. Norman checks on him, then Funk rolls him up for the win. That was stupid.

Shawn “The Perfect One” Stasiak vs Curt Hennig

So WCW is trying to make Stasiak the new Mr. Perfect. One problem with that: He sucks. Hennig is on the offensive early on. They show the Misfits in Action at ringside, including my personal favorite Van Hammer. OH JOY. On the outside Stasiak throws Hennig on the announce table. Stasiak applies a long sleeper hold, probably because he can’t do anything else. Stasiak misses a splash so Hennig starts a comeback. Stasiak ducks a Hennig charge and catapults Hennig into the post, then hits the Perfect Plex for the win.

WCW United States Championship: Scott Steiner (c) vs Hugh Morrus

Oh man, the camera shot they use to show the Title graphic shows that the lower bowl of the arena on the hard camera side is empty. Idiots. Everyone must be forced to the camera side again.

Hugh Morrus takes the mic. He said he doesn’t want to be called that again. It was given to him by Eric Bischoff as a joke. He wants to be called by his real name: Hugh G. Rection. Really? How is Hugh Morrus worse than that? Well, Bill DeMott isn’t exactly a genius. How that guy trained people to wrestle I’ll never know.

Steiner gets the biggest pop of the night so far. Rection gets off to a hot start so Steiner bails and jaws with some fans. Midajah and Shaniqua distract Rection, so Steiner sneaks behind him and jumps him. Morrus goes to the top and the girls go to pull him off but Rection clearly says “Hold on.” He hits an elbow drop then goes for a moonsault, and now the girls crotch him on the ropes. Wow did that look awful. How about don’t do two straight top rope moves to confuse these women? Steiner hits a few belly-to-bellys then scares off the ref because he thought the count was slow. Steiner goes to jaw with fans after every couple of moves. Rection counters and hits a seated Tombstone. Shaniqua comes in to stop Rection, but he goes for the Moonsault and misses, but still manages to catch Steiner with his boot in the head. Ouch. Steiner applies the Steiner Recliner for the win.

The Misfits in Action try jumping the barricade but are stopped by security. Booker T comes out and takes out Steiner.

During the replay, Scott Hudson: “Captain Rection, a little premature with the ragin climax.” OH MY GOD SHUT UP.

Mike Awesome vs Kanyon

Something is going on in the crowd to start the match, so the sheep pay attention to that. Awesome dives over to the top to the outside on Kanyon. Mike Awesome was pretty good and I never understood why he didn’t get more of a run when WWE bought WCW. This match is all Mike Awesome. He kills Kanyon a couple times with a chair. I’m not sure if Kanyon has gotten in a single move so far this match. Just as I type than Kanyon clocks Awesome with a chair. He hits a top rope neckbreaker. Awesome is able to counter a piledriver into an Alabama slam. Awesome hits a powerbomb and Kanyon lands on his neck. Awesome can tell he fucked up right after. Awesome pulls up the mat on the outside. Kanyon escapes a powerbomb to the concrete but eats a clothesline. Awesome goes to powerbomb Kanyon off the elevated ramp, but Kevin Nash comes out. Nash and Awesome brawl. The New Blood comes out, then the Millionaires Club.

The Total Package vs Buff Bagwell

So the story here is that Russo took Elizabeth because WCW, not Luger, owns Liz’s contract. Plus, Russo just wanted a beautiful woman like Elizabeth around him. Russo probably never had a woman that good looking interested in him before so he needed the thrill.

There is a sign that reads “Buff Stuffs.” Ha. Buff Bagwell might have two of the best theme songs of all time. Who doesn’t love “American Males” and “Buff Daddy?” We get a pose off to start. Luger hits some basic offense to start. So your typical Luger match. Bagwell gets control then slows down the match. This match is moving as fast as Ralphus. We cut to the back where Elizabeth hits Russo with a baseball bat. Elizabeth comes out and tries to hit Buff but he stops her. Buff then uses the bat RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE REFEREE. Buff goes to the top, then Liz hits Buff with the bat AGAIN IN FRONT OF THE REFEREE. Luger applies the Torture Rack and gets the win.

After the match, Chuck Palumbo comes out and attacks Luger. Palumbo looks like a guy that skipped leg day every week. It’s comical. Palumbo applies his own Torture Rack as Buff takes Elizabeth back.

Shane Douglas vs Ric Flair

Flair is still wrestling in street clothes and I’m not exactly sure why. Flair tells Douglas he is going to beat his ECW ass. Flair opens up his chop house on Douglas. Flair goes to the top but Douglas obviously slams him off. Douglas applies a Figure Four but Flair gets to the ropes. Flair hits a low blow. Douglas reaches for a chain and hits Flair with it. Douglas hits triple suplexes. Flair fights back and hits another low blow. Flair works over the legs. A fake Sting comes out and hits Flair with a baseball bat. Buff Bagwell is out as well. Douglas gets the win.

All three attack after. Everyone assumes it is Russo in the Sting mask. Flair was suppose to get five minutes with Russo. Luger comes out and throws the guy in the fake Sting mask back in the ring. But Vince Russo comes out. The mask is removed and it is David Flair. Russo says start the clock and Russo and David Flair beat down Ric. The announcers freak out over this. Did they not remember 99 when David Flair did this? Kevin Nash comes out. He goes to powerbomb Russo but Daffney low blows Nash as Russo, David Flair and Daffney celebrate.

Sting vs Vampiro

Vampiro meets Sting on the entrance ramp but Sting gets the upper hand and dominates the early part of the match. Sting DDT’s Vampiro on the floor. He went to the announce table but looked pissed at Tony Schiavone for telling him to use the table. Vampiro hits a low blow. He grabs a lead pipe and uses it on Sting. They go back up the ramp where Vampiro hits a few moves. Sting low blows Vampiro then uses the lead pipe as well. Sting hits a Stinger Splash and a two Scorpion Death Drops for the win. Man, they really killed Vampiro there. This feud goes on but that was a full burial of Vampiro. Sting even comes back after and lays out Vampiro again with the pipe.

Billy Kidman w/Torrie Wilson and Kimberly vs Hulk Hogan- Eric Bischoff Special Referee

The announcers go back and forth between calling Hogan Terry Bollea and Hulk Hogan. Please stop. Horace comes out with Hulk but Bischoff tells him to leave.

Hogan gives chase to Kidman on the outside. Back in the ring, Hogan sets up the chair an drops Kidman on it. Hogan tosses Kidman into the barricade. Kidman uses Torrie as a shield then hits Hogan. Kidman gets 30 seconds of offense in when Hogan fights back. Hogan uses the belt but Bischoff grabs it. Kidman then jumps Hogan and uses the belt. Hogan comes right back and tosses Kidman to the outside. Hogan goes for some covers but Bischoff doesn’t count. Kidman gets some more offense in but Hogan is quick to come right back on offense. Hogan hits the big boot. Bischoff blocks the leg drop. Hogan takes out Bischoff with a punch then a chair shot.

Hogan sets up some tables and breaks one setting it up. He goes to powerbomb Bischoff through one but Kidman hits him with a chair. Bischoff then holds Hogan for Kidman but Hogan kicks the chair into him then powerbombs Bischoff through the table. Kidman takes out Hogan with a chair and puts Hogan on a table. Kidman dives off the top but Hogan moves and Kidman goes through the table. Horace comes out and lifts Bischoff’s unconscious hand three times to give Hogan the win.

Triple Cage Match for the WCW Title: David Arquette (c) vs Jeff Jarrett vs Diamond Dallas Page

Jarrett chases Arquette around to start. DDP keeps taking out Jarrett when he does. DDP takes down Jarrett and tells Arquette to go for a splash. Jarrett moves. DDP accidentally catapults Jarrett into Arquette into the cage. Jarrett has been busted open. The last move that happened to Jarrett was being crotched in the corner. I guess that was enough to bust his forehead open. There are multiple attempts by both men to climb up to the second cage but they are thwarted.

They finally get up to the second level. You need bolt cutters to open the second door because of course. So DDP smartly does it right away but Jarrett attacks him. DDP is busted open. DDP slams Jarrett into the wall and it collapses. That’s a really stupid spot. Any more momentum and they fall off it. DDP puts Jarrett awkwardly through a table on the second level. David Arquette climbs up to the top to protect the Title. Mike Awesome appears out of nowhere but eats a Diamond Cutter, but Awesome turned and made it look like a neckbreaker.

The third level is a guitar room. DDP and Jarrett each miss a guitar shot. DDP hands a guitar to Arquette. Both Jarrett and DDP climb to the top. Arquette clocks DDP with the guitar then Jarrett hits DDP with the last one. SWERVE!!! Awesome goes to powerbomb DDP, but Kanyon stops him. Awesome then takes Kanyon and tosses him off the second level of the cage. Normally, you would say cool. But….

This was the same arena that Owen Hart died in almost a year to the day. Bret Hart was apparently livid when he saw what happened. It was a dumb decision by, presumably Russo, to do that spot in that arena. It was done for a cheap pop/thrill and nothing more.

Overall, it was a pretty meh show. There was anything spectacular but there wasn’t anything bad. It was almost a burial of two of the top guns in the New Blood, Billy Kidman and Vampiro. Jarrett got the Title back and his reign of sucktitude is back in full force. The Millionaires Club is gaining a little bit of momentum, but the New Blood still has the top titles in the company. It was an inoffensive show, but I know that is going to change in the coming months when it comes to WCW.

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka