Justin C Watches WCW Great American Bash 2000

Full confession. Also, EXTREME HOT TAKE ALERT: WCW from the week after the reboot until about last week hasn’t been overly awful. It was actually good at points. Sure, Russo has been Russo with some of his storylines. But Eric Bischoff was there to kind of piece things together and make sure it wasn’t complete shit crash TV like Russo’s first run in 1999. And at least here, Russo wasn’t a guy you wanted off your TV. With all he has done in his feud with Ric Flair, Russo is a guy you wanted to see get his ass kicked. So while it definitely had its problems (like too many Title changes) it wasn’t as bad as you might think.

This whole show was built up to a giant surprise from Eric Bischoff and Vince Russo. They had been hyping it up for weeks and thought it was a done deal. But it fell apart the week of the PPV, and they were scrambling to come up with Plan B. I’ll tell you what both plans were at the end of this review.

WCW Cruiserweight Championship: Chavo Guerrero (c) vs Disco Inferno

Ah, the good ole Misfits in Action. They still have that dumbass Van Hammer in this group. He’s Major Stash. But he should be called Major Shits. Out of all the Filthy Animals, Disco Inferno gets this Title shot. Not Rey. Not Juvi. Hell, I might even take Konnan over Disco. Probably Tygress too. Disco also looks fucking ridiculous in a Kobe Bryant jersey and shorts.

Disco gets tossed to the outside early and the MIA, the faces, jump him for no reason. Oh good, the grandfather of Captain Rection is out there and gets shoved down. Juvi tries to interfere but it fails. The referee is just running around the ropes yelling at no one on the outside but is clearly taking a peak at the interference in the ring. Lash Leroux interferes and helps Chavo win. Major Gunns gives Captain Rection’s grandfather mouth to mouth and he recovers. So essentially the match was used to build up to that spot.

If you send in your bill showing you ordered the Great American Bash, you can get a Hulk Hogan inflatable raft. I want to find someone that has that.

#1 Contendership for the WCW Tag Team Titles: The Mamalukes vs Kronic

Kronic comes out with  a stupid looking entrance. Apparently we are suppose to think they are cool. Vito is wrestling with the Hardcore Title still on. It’s the most entertaining part about this match so far as Kronic has been on offense most of the time. Vito goes and chases the Hardcore Title as Johnny the Bull gets his ass kicked. There’s no one to tag and Kronic finishes off Johnny the Bull for the win.

Ambulance Match: Diamond Dallas Page vs Mike Awesome

Awesome is known as the “Career Killer” now. Better than what he would become in a few months. Kanyon gets wheeled out to the entrance ramp. There’s a ref bump ten seconds in. In an Ambulance Match. Awesome gets control early on. Imagine if WCW pushed Awesome instead of fucking Jeff Jarrett. Awesome drops DDP through a table. Apparently the two “paramedics” at ringside have to put the wrestler on the gurnie and wheel him to the ambulance. And least that is what happens after the table spot. Awesome hits two Awesome splashes but misses a third.

Out comes Kimberly who hits DDP with a lead pipe. Miss Hancock comes out and pulls away Kimberly. DDP hits a nice Diamond Cutter off the top rope. Awesome gets wheeled up. Eric Bischoff comes out and threatens Kanyon with a chair. But, SWERVE, Kanyon attacks DDP and hits a Diamond Cutter off the stage. Awesome tosses DDP in the ambulance and wins.

More typical WCW. Kanyon could have been built up as a sympathetic babyface. But nope, GOT TO SWERVE THE MARKS BRO!

Boot Camp Match: G.I. Bro vs Sean Stasiak

G.I. Bro is Booker T. Because how can you ruin a good wrestler like Booker T? Here it is. He repels down from on end of the arena. He almost got caught a few times. This is essentially a last man standing match. There’s been one chair shot five minutes into this match. Stasiak suplexes Booker on the steel ramp. I’m super bored by this match. These guys are barely doing anything that would qualify as a Boot Camp match. They are doing basic moves and not getting up until an 8 count. A “boring” chant breaks out as Stasiak applies a sleeper.

Out comes Chuck Palumbo, Stasiak’s tag partner. Booker takes him out. But Stasiak low blows him with the flexer they have. Schiavone and Madden talk about this as an example of the “lax rules” in WCW. Scott Hudson quickly points out it is a Boot Camp match. Booker takes out both guys, then hits Stasiak with the Lex Flexer for the win. So Booker just beat your tag team Champs. That was a basic match with over extended ten counts.

Kanyon tells Mean Gene Eric Bischoff told him he could become a star if he took out DDP.

Tables Match: Shane Douglas vs The Wall

This is the infamous “Best of 5” table matches promo from Shane Douglas and everyone is confused. Mark Madden says it is really Best of 9 then if someone has to go through a table five times. I will say if there is one new guy that ruined during these couple months, it is the Wall. He was built up as a legit future star, and has become an after thought. The Wall is doing way too much selling in the ring as Douglas works him over. Wall blocks a suplex on the outside and chokeslams Douglas through the first table. Wall then drops Douglas through another table. Scott Hudson finally tells us it is a “Best of 5” meaning the first person to go through three tables loses.

They go up the ramp. There is a guy holding a “David Hasslehoff Is My Hero” sign. Okay then. I guess that guy leaves a sad life. Douglas gets Wall to the stage where there is a 15 foot ladder with two tables stacked up near it. Douglas climbs the ladder. The Wall stupidly climbs up the other side. Douglas knocks Wall off with brass knucks. I guess there was a third table under the black table table cloth? Okay. Douglas wins. The Wall gets up and chokeslams the ref through a table. Yeah, because that will help the Wall regain his credibility.

Asylum Match for the United States Championship: Scott Steiner (c) vs Tank Abbott

Scott Steiner is over. The crowd has been flocking to him since he told Russo to fuck off. Dave Penzer makes an announcement from Eric Bischoff and Vince Russo and says since the Asylum Match is Scott’s signature match, they are adding Rick Steiner to the match to make it an even playing field. Even though Tank Abbott is a former UFC fighter. Tank and Ric beat up Scott. Tank goes to use a chain, but Rick tells him no. Why? Why does Rick Steiner all of the sudden have a change of heart? Tank pretends to put it away, but he brings it back out. Rick blocks it and takes the brunt of it. Scott uses it on Tank then applies the Steiner Recliner and Tank gives up. So there goes any hope of Tank Abbott being useful in the near future.

Hollywood Hogan vs Billy Kidman w/Horace Hogan as Referee

Horace recently turned on his uncle Hulk. And Hulk went back to the Hollywood persona. If Hogan wins this he gets a Title shot at Bash at the Beach. If Kidman wins Hogan ha to retire. It is all Hogan to start. Mostly because you know Hogan couldn’t sell for more than a few minutes for Kidman. Hogan whips Kidman with his weight belt. Kidman finally gets some offense when he dropkicks a chair into Hogan. He has to use a chair because otherwise he could never be able to beat up Hogan in a regular fight!

Back in the ring Kidman goes for a DDT on the chair. Hogan half asses it and doesn’t fall in sync with Kidman. Hogan starts to Hulk Up. They go to the outside and Hogan tosses Kidman through the announce table. Torrie Wilson gets on the apron and hands Hogan brass knucks. Kidman knees Hogan into Torrie then steals the brass knucks. Horace is apparently calling it right down the middle, so Kidman hits Horace with the knucks. Torrie then low blows Kidman, Hogan uses the knucks, and pins Kidman for the win. Horace raises Hulk’s hand so apparently he is no longer New Blood? Confusion running wild!

Ric Flair vs David Flair w/Vince Russo

If David wins this match, Ric has to retire from pro wrestling. Ric just schools David in the early going with chops. David botches a counter but still clotheslines Ric to the outside. Russo hits Ric with the bat then handcuffs Ric’s hands together. Reid Flair jumps the railing and low blows Russo. He gets the handcuff keys and Charles Robinson undoes the cuffs. Ashley, better known today as Charlotte, handcuffs Russo’s hands behind his back. Flair beats up David a bit longer than applies the Figure Four and David taps. Ric leaves with his family after giving Russo a few chops for good measure.

Russo tells Ric that he will retire him tomorrow on Nitro. So fuck the PPV, right?

Human Torch Match: Vampiro vs Sting

Vampiro lights a torch on the way to the ring. Sting pulls it up above their titantron and says Vampiro will have to go up there to light him on fire. Sting then comes off the top of the tron to start the match in the ring? Why not just chill up there until Vampiro meets you. Vampiro dumps gas on Sting. They go up the ramp to the top where the torch is. The lights start flickering and we get thunder and lightning effects. They fight on top for a few minutes. The lights go dark, which is where Sting’s stunt double takes over. Vampiro grabs the torch an lights the Sting stunt double on fire. The Sting stunt double falls off the tron and staff blows him down with a fire extinguisher. At least the announcers do a good job of selling it, I’ll give them credit for that.

Eric Bischoff tells the new blonde bimbo announcer there is no surprise tonight.

WCW Championship: Jeff Jarrett (c) vs Kevin Nash

Michael Buffer with the intro. Buffer says Jarrett and Nash are the two biggest names in sports entertainment. HAHAHA. They really should have found a way to put Vampiro/Sting on last. And I almost wonder if they would have if the original surprise happened. The Cat comes out and gives the Filthy Animals special jobs. Disco Inferno is the “Special Title Keeper” and Mark Madden gives his best line of the night: “That’ll be the closest he (Disco) ever gets to the belt.”

The match starts and apparently there is a monster truck sound that distracts people. I didn’t hear it. Goldberg’s monster truck had been spotted around the arena even though Bischoff is keeping Goldberg out. Nash and Jarrett brawl in the crowd. In typical 2000 wrestling crowd reaction, a bunch of idiots jump around to get in on the action. Rey hits Nash with a chair, which causes Tony to bring up Nash’s surgeries and Tony says “Nash has always had weak legs.” Just wait Tony, just wait.

Jarrett applies multiple submissions to the leg of Nash to slow the match down. Also to prevent Nash from taking any bumps possible. Konnan clocks Nash with the ring bell but Nash kicks out. Side slam from Nash. Nash fights off all of the Filthy Animals. Nash clocks Jarrett with the belt. Disco takes out the ref. The Ca tries a fast count but Nash kicks out. Nash takes out the Filthy Animals again. Schiavone is quick to point out Nash is fighting seven men. Gotta put Nash over. Nash blocks a guitar shot with a chokeslam. Cat counts two but doesn’t count three. Powerbomb to Cat. Powerbomb to Nash. Rick Steiner pulls out the new ref. Tank Abbott fights Scott Steiner. Now everyone else is beating up Nash in the ring.

Here comes Goldberg’s monster truck! And we get a clear shot of Goldberg NOT driving it. Goldberg comes to the ring. He sits in the corner, then spears Nash. Jarrett pins Nash for the win. Out come Bischoff and Russo. Goldberg grabs them, then hugs them. SURPRISE! Everyone celebrates as the crowd throws trash in the ring.

Yes, that was the Plan B surprise that Russo and Bischoff rushed to do. What was the original surprise you ask? They were going to announce a new TV deal with FX at the PPV. But the deal fell apart mid week, and Bischoff and Russo were scrambling to find a new surprise. Insert the Goldberg heel turn. Goldberg didn’t want to do it. He was very hesitant. Goldberg did a lot of charity work and felt like he’d be letting kids down. But Russo needed the SHOCK VALUE BRO, and this is what happened. It flopped big time. No one bought it. The crowd loved Goldberg. There was a time and a place for a Goldberg heel turn I’m sure. But when you are a dying company on its last legs, you don’t turn your biggest star.

OVERALL: This show is the start of the downfall for WCW. It was already trending that way. But as I said above, there was some good in the last few months. This show wiped it away. The Human Torch match sucked. Nash fought off seven men. Hogan buried Kidman. There is not one redeeming thing on this show. Kanyon is turned heel, again, FOR SHOCK VALUE. Van Hammer is still on TV. Tank Abbott is buried. I can’t find one positive thing to say about all of this. It is the beginning of the end folks. I’m going to need a lot of alcohol for the rest of the ride.

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka